Beware: The Toasted Lap

So, a week ago I went to NYC to visit my BFF (I love acronyms). I had brainstormed a post on the train—having very little access to the internet even though the mofos said they have internet on the Acela. LIES I tell you, LIES. Regardless, I found my brainstorm recently, so sorry for the delay, one person that reads my blog.

First it says ‘Phelps case’—this a came across through twitter stalking Perez Hilton if I remember correctly is an upcoming supreme court case—Snyder v. Phelps—between the father of a dead Marine (Snyder) and Fred Phelps, a Baptist pastor, who led a protest at his funeral/burial. The protestors carried signs like “You’re going to hell” and “Thank God for Dead Soldiers”. In the words of our favorite you tube star—is this real life? “These people ought to be so thankful to us, says Phelps, regarding the message he and his followers send. We should be thankful to him for making su aware essentially. Snyder sees it as harassment—in the video I gave you a link to he says it is, in fact, less about Free Speech than harassment. I don’t know all the facts—but it doesn’t seem to me that your message, Mr. Phelps, is very well expressed with slogans like that, and if it is take your hateful self back to Kansas and preach to people that want to be preached to. What made this news even crazier to me was that I heard about it alongside a new health scare—TOASTED SKIN SYNDROME—everyone hide yo’ family.

Now, I know it sounds like it involves shoving your hand in a toaster but it is actually even less believable than that. It is caused from having a hot laptop in (guess where!) you lap! Toasted lap syndrome I can relate to because DAYUMMM my computer can heat up. There haven’t been many cases reported but for some reason it was considered newsworthy enough to be on my MSNBC podcast.

If I have excited fear in your hearts and caused you to throw your laptop in the bathtub—be careful, we don’t electrocution on top of the toasted lap epidemic—have no fear. Look what I found for you on amazon!—a ‘laptop cooling heatshift pad’.I personally chose to take the risk of toast lap since I don’t have $30 to spend, but if I did—well, I still wouldn’t buy it. BUT if it was given to me as a gift and I couldn’t possibly return it I would bedazzle the edges and heat it up with my laptop and give to my cat to sleep on.