Friday, January 28, 2011

So, it's been snowing a lot

Praise the lord for New England weather. I compiled some of my favorite pictures I've taken from the past storms. I also re-posted the video I made from the first ripper that put my town on television with fires and floading (the only exciting thing that has happened here). I am heading up to Burlington, VT this weekend to visit friends from home that go to school at Champlaine and UVM. I hear its cold up there, so I'll have to actually wear even less attractive winter clothing than in that video. I'm sure Ill have more videos/photos of nasty, snowy, cold weather...and hopefully some good stories. TGIF

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Breeding Brilliant

So, what do I love to watch after YouTube videos of cats? YouTube videos of babies...or atleast small children doing stupid and/or adorable things. Here is something I came across today:

Now, I think all people dream of being brilliant, or at least breeding brilliant. I am not one of those people. If I ever had a child who wanted to listen to this much classical music (I can appreciate it in small doses) I would say

“[Instert name here], no. Can’t you listen to some Justin Beiber or Eminem, for CHRISSAKE I am bored”

I also wouldn’t be able to keep up with the kid, aside from being bored by his boring interests, I already struggle when people do dumb crap like giving you 26 cents so they can get $1.05 back. And don’t get me started on helping my little brother with division – those schools and their damn special methods – who divides fractions anyway? My resistance to this may have to do with my challenges tipping waiters.

I want my kids to excel and me amazingly cute geniuses, really I do. But, don’t you run out of things to accomplish? Doesn’t your brain get tired? I was blessed with academic skating skills, as in I could skate through semesters not doing excessive work and get B’s and B+ (how do you plural this) and even an A here and there if it was a subject I liked. My personal favorite was when I was going to end up with a C, which is unacceptable in my house, and I would manage to get it up to an A by the time the report card came out. Keep in mind; I was also president of about every club possible in high school. I am no slacker; I just don’t want to invest my time in things that aren’t worthwhile to me.

When I have kids, I hope they have my selective work ethic and I plan on training them to do things like paint my nails, and imitate dinosaurs, along with things like the video below that will make them YouTube sensations – aided by the strange names I will give them so they will be celebrities and entertain me up for life. Either that, or I’ll channel Ellen and scare the crap out of them while filming.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Cheering Up Jen

My sister and I both need cheering up right now. My big boy Abner the Cat went to cat heaven on Saturday. I don’t think I have written about him much, but I do think its clear I’m a premature cat lady and he was my buddy.

Anyway, after being out sick for a week, and after rough weekend keeping me from falling into depression over Abner, Jen had to go back to work on Monday. As usual, shit happens on the worst days, she got to work late; her badge wasn’t working, etc…So they gave her a temporary badge. I thought it looked boring, so I fixed it. Can you tell which one is the original? And just to be clear, I did morph her into a cat-human.

I decided to take this a step further, and see what would happen if Jen had  a baby with a cat…. By combining this two pictures: 

So, this is what Jen's cat baby would look.  The result is a weird, but still oddly cute kid. I would be proud to be Felix's aunt.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Dunkin Donuts...never again!

I didn’t have time to bring a thermos of coffee to work today, so after I parked behind the classy store I work at (yeah, a liquor store) I walked over to Dunkins before I had to open at 12 o’clock.
For once there isn’t a line, which is great, since I’m in a rush.  Sunday mornings there are two or three big groups of regulars…I know this because I tend to run late on Sundays, so I have to buy coffee.  I don’t know if I have seen the friendly lady behind the counter before, but I will never forget her.
I order my “medium hazelnut hot with skim milk, thank you” and she goes to make  it while three other girls are bustling around replenishing donuts.  They are all giggling about something and the woman comes back with my coffee asking

“Anything else?”
“All set, thanks”
“Would you like donut or a bagel?”
“oh, no thank you”
“No donut?”
“No, I’m all set”
“Oh get a donut”

Is this for real….NO DONUT LADY, NOO DONUT! I try to be nice to people in retail or the food industry because I know what its like. People can be crazy about their liquor.  In this situation, I guess I needed to put my crazy pants on because I ended up with a donut. I still don’t really know how it happened. It must be how kids feel after they have been peer pressured and find themselves with a beer in their hands. But I didn’t have a delicious, ice-cold beer, I had a (likely) old, fatty, undelicious, unwanted chocolate glazed donut. I felt tricked. Of course I ate it. It cost me 89 cents, and I am getting my period, so I really have no ability to resist chocolate right now.  The whole time the other girls were giggling and the lady kept asking reaching towards the donuts, just like a high school dance where you’re not in on the joke.

When I walked back in the liquor store, vulnerable and shaken, I saw a bright red price of a nip of Smirnoff Raspberry, 87 cents, less expensive and more worth my money.  I used to get their lattes too, and they aren’t all bad, the flavor is fine, but they are ALL foam, and even then not filled all the way.

What did I learn today? Get my ass up more quickly so I can make my own coffee, or at least have time to get to Starbucks, whose phenomenal customer service is worth the extra mula. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Blizzie Vid

As promised, if a bit delayed, here is the link to my groundbreaking coverage of the storm on December 27th put together with some blood, sweat, and iMovie.

I have to go watch Ellen now.