Breeding Brilliant

So, what do I love to watch after YouTube videos of cats? YouTube videos of babies...or atleast small children doing stupid and/or adorable things. Here is something I came across today:

Now, I think all people dream of being brilliant, or at least breeding brilliant. I am not one of those people. If I ever had a child who wanted to listen to this much classical music (I can appreciate it in small doses) I would say

“[Instert name here], no. Can’t you listen to some Justin Beiber or Eminem, for CHRISSAKE I am bored”

I also wouldn’t be able to keep up with the kid, aside from being bored by his boring interests, I already struggle when people do dumb crap like giving you 26 cents so they can get $1.05 back. And don’t get me started on helping my little brother with division – those schools and their damn special methods – who divides fractions anyway? My resistance to this may have to do with my challenges tipping waiters.

I want my kids to excel and me amazingly cute geniuses, really I do. But, don’t you run out of things to accomplish? Doesn’t your brain get tired? I was blessed with academic skating skills, as in I could skate through semesters not doing excessive work and get B’s and B+ (how do you plural this) and even an A here and there if it was a subject I liked. My personal favorite was when I was going to end up with a C, which is unacceptable in my house, and I would manage to get it up to an A by the time the report card came out. Keep in mind; I was also president of about every club possible in high school. I am no slacker; I just don’t want to invest my time in things that aren’t worthwhile to me.

When I have kids, I hope they have my selective work ethic and I plan on training them to do things like paint my nails, and imitate dinosaurs, along with things like the video below that will make them YouTube sensations – aided by the strange names I will give them so they will be celebrities and entertain me up for life. Either that, or I’ll channel Ellen and scare the crap out of them while filming.